Dear Abusers, there’s been an Elephant in my Room 🐘

Dear Abusers, 
You’re absolutely right when you said, “ONLY GOD can judge you.” Well, that must be the ONLY scariest truth you have ever said in your life. My letter to you is written with the intention, that you can spend some time reflecting on the negative effects of forced sexual abuse on young innocent lives. It’s a horrible thing to imagine that for many sexual abuse victims, their first sexual encounter – was not voluntary. Many victims are scarred with deep painful wounds, and insecurities. Most of them have been traumatized and forced into silence.     

Your unacceptable behaviour have psychologically and emotionally affected the lives of young victims. Many of them will take years to recover, and some may not. I am excited to be an advocate for many victims of sexual abuse, who have been silenced by this violent crime.

Young children who have been sexually abused are usually exploited by members of their immediate families. The first inappropriate sexual touch, instantly instills a deep fear, insecurity, an embedded memory, most times sending the young victim into silence. To her,  you were a safe member of the family who she should have undoubtedly trusted. But, after this shameful and disgraceful act is committed against her, it can be extremely difficult for her to trust anyone. But, it must be noted that invariably, of all the children who are sexually abused, the act is committed by people in the family, or those who are closely connected as:

  • father
  • uncle
  • sibling
  • neighbour
  • coach
  • teacher

You have forced your young victims to live with a dark secret that is far too scary and mature in nature for them to process. Her bedroom is no longer a safe place because there is where she was molested. She can see  “The elephant in the room.” It’s a term that refers to a deeply held secret that everyone knows about, but will not address it. The young innocent victim lives with a constant reminder of the unforgettable sexual acts that were done to her. 

She has low self esteem, she experiences panic attacks,  suffers with depression, performances badly at school, and she has become an easy target for other abusers who see her insecurity. Before your little five year old victim celebrated her tenth birthday, she was already sexually molested by three of your friends on different occasions. That’s the reality of the sexual abuse cycle. 

Young victim is forced to live with “The Elephant in the Room” …. Her pain and hurt remain unheard, unseen, and unspoken  – out of fear. 

Many of these young victims on reaching puberty or close to their eighteenth birthdays become promiscuous. Chances are that some will either have abortions or become young unwed mothers. It’s a cycle of abuse, pain, loneliness, and bitterness that has spiraled out of control. One evil selfish act committed by an untrustworthy family member created a mental war that has made a potentially good girl gone bad.

Note: All sexual victims suffer lifelong consequences.

Young victims of sexual abuse left unchecked have the potential to become angry adults. The undiscovered pain leads the victims right into the arms of abusive men. They are caught up in a web of abusive partners/husbands, who become physically abusive to them. What they have endured as a young child has now been carried over into their adult lives. These women live with a partner who physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually abuses and controls their lives. The statistics show that every 12 seconds a woman is abused; 37% of pregnant women are abused during pregnancy; and these numbers only reflect the women who make a report to the police. They have become fair game to a lifetime of abuse.

The cycle of violence against women never ends. Many of these women continue to be forced to have sex against their will. Sex is difficult to enjoy or be interpreted as an act of love and affection for women who have been sexually abused and battered all their lives. Young victims are now all grown up, unable to break the cycle, and many of them stand the distinct reality of being killed if they attempt to leave their abusers. I’m hoping that you the ABUSERS can clearly understand, that your evil selfish sexual acts against an innocent young child never comes to a happy ending. 

It’s unimaginable, how the original abuser can turn a blind eye to their childhood victims, without pausing to look back and simply acknowledge the part they have played in her life without offering a sincere apology. Are you so cold- hearted that not once have you ever attempted to reach out to your victims who are family members to find out how you can help? 

Women are forced to live in silence with the deep hurts of a shattered life carrying dark hidden secrets of the men in her family who had betrayed her. “THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM” daily haunts her mind. Inspite of the fact that your life turned out great. You have achieved your goals and dreams. Your early childhood action forced upon your innocent young victim forces her into depression and sadness. She’s the real victim. Your life impresses everyone sitting in your boardroom, yet no one is aware of your very dark secret, and the shattered pieces of your victim’s life. 

A lonely battered woman, continues to live with “The Elephant In The Room” every night, having flashbacks to her painful journey in life. Often wondering what her life would have been without the early sexual abuse. 

house where a child or a woman feels unsafe, is not a home. The pain that was inflicted on her as a child has now been transferred into her adult life. The scars go much deeper than what you can visibly see on her face. 


An Advocate for the victims without a voice. 

**** Special Words of encouragement to Our Women of Strength:

Women, you are encouraged to speak up and share your stories so help can come to all. It takes one story to change one life. One life can bring change to more lives. There’s HOPE and RECOVERY for victims of abuse.

Violence against children and women must be eradicated.

On Saturday October 15, 2016 – President Barack Obama tweeted that, “We still have more to do to prevent sexual assault and the thinking that leads to it. That starts with us.”  I’m including a few slides from President Obama’s tweet speaking up on Violence against Women:


Women will NOT be victims and stay quiet so their ABUSERS can stay comfortable anymore! 

Women will be empowered by other women to eradicate the violence and abuse for the generations to follow. 

Women will no longer be known as the victim, but instead be the Educators  of Empowerment.



2 thoughts on “Dear Abusers, there’s been an Elephant in my Room 🐘

  1. Praying for GOD’S mercy, grace and strength to be spread abroad and applied to all who need it. Blessings as you continue to minister to the needs of many.👭


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