Evaluate Your Friendship Zone 

My Soul,

WAIT thou ONLY ON GOD; for MY EXPECTATION is from him. He only is MY ROCK and MY SALVATION : He is MY DEFENSE; I shall not be moved.
TRUST in HIM at ALL times; ye people, pour out your heart to Him: GOD is a REFUGE for us. Selah.” Psalms‬ ‭62:5-6, 8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

There are times in life when all you simply  need is a refuge. A refuge is a place that gives shelter, or protection from danger, trouble, and/or unhappiness. It a great feeling when you know that someone got’s  your back when things  get chaotic in your life.  You feel safe and loved. It’s a place of covering. It’s a safe place. 

Explanation to scripture noted above. Whenever you read a scripture, you can personalize it. The scripture we read is really all about you: 

  • God is MY refuge (security blanket)
  •  He’s MY defense – He pleads my case even when I’m not at my best, because He’s committed to me
  • He’s MY expectation – I can always count on Him watching over me like a ‘secret service agent’
  • He’s MY rock – I run for cover when I’m most vulnerable and scared
  • He’s MY salvation – I have a Hope that when I die, I’m going to see my Saviour

 Life can be challenging for every person. Period. Therefore, having a faithful defender, someone to shelter from attacks, a personal protection from danger, a rock to hide you, makes your confidence level increase. 

Depending on many contributing factors, you can have a small, medium, or large database of people you know and those who you have relationships with. Many people think by watching me socialize that I’m an outgoing person. But to the contrary, I don’t find socializing an easy thing to do, but I’ve heard it many times that I do an excellent job connecting with people. I will definitely go all out to make every individual feel loved and appreciated, but if given a choice, I will quickly slip away and be very happy all alone. So if you ask me the approximate size of my database of people I know and those I have relationships with – it definitely will be a small database. 

In life, you can have many friends and develop quite an impressive track record of close relationships. Then there are people  who are like me – have few friends and an un-impressive friendship database. But either way, it’s a brilliant idea from time to time to take an inventory or an evaluation of your circles of influence. The simple reason is, some people may no longer remain committed or loyal to you as some relationships/friendships expire due to the season they or you may be in.Relationships change as people move up or out of your life.  Some people come into your life for a reason, while others come into your life but for a season.

Over my lifetime I’ve seen best friends become worst enemies. I know of women who were once friends, and betrayal found a way to destroy a marriage – making the guilty one the new bride.  I’ve seen guys who were disloyal to their friends, and who developed secret relationships with their friends wives. Then, we have other friendships that didn’t survive and grew distant because of envy, gossip, betrayal etc. There are Christian relationships that changed because of differences of opinions or beliefs. Families can also have a shift in relationships coming out of pride, hurt or envy. Every one can change depending on growth or lack of; maturity or lack of; distances; and competing with each other also can be destructive to friendships/relationships.

It’s prudent to take an inventory of your circle, evaluating where your relationships are presently. The girls who you once did stuff together – are now maybe mothers with different priorities. Knowing who your true friends are, and the status of your current relationships – is an excellent idea.

Seasons in life can change and catch you unaware of knowing who your true friends are –  if you weren’t paying close attention. So, make certain your relationships add both value and character to your life. 

As you get older you will understand more the difference of having a dollar bill vs one hundred pennies. They both have the same value, but one takes less time to store away than the other. One makes less noise than the other. One is not easily seen while everyone sees and hears the other. Your relationship status requires regular examination to determine if you have one loyal friend or many acquaintances.

How to evaluate Relationships/Friendships:

  • You should never have to make yourself small to make the other person feel great
  • Never set yourself on fire to make anyone happy 
  • Don’t drive 1000 kms for anyone who would not cross the street to meet you
  • Relationships aren’t healthy if you have to be the one whose is always apologizing 
  • If they are always leading the conversation and it’s always about how happy and successful they are – it’s a sign to do a rain check 
  • Don’t be a door mat so others can feel good 
  • If a person comes over as being mean, don’t make excuses for them. Believe what you see 
  • If a person promises to call but they never follow through, you must not be the one left calling 
  • Avoid relationships where the other person brings up your past
  • If a man or woman speaks in a hostile way to you, if he or she hits or yells at you – make certain there will not be another opportunity even if they get down on their knees
  • A man that isn’t afraid to pray with you, to go to church, and read his Bible, take note him 
  • If he still opens the car door for you  and waits for you to sit at the table before he eats, he is doing it because he respects you 
  • A true girlfriend to another girlfriend will always speak nicely about her behind her back
  • A true girlfriend empowers and cheers you on to achieve your dreams 
  • When you are out for dinner, observe how the other person speaks to the server – then you decide if your friendship is safe if you hit a rocky place in your life
  • One loyal sister is worth more than one thousand friends 
  • Sisters get mad with each other, but when something happens or there’s something important to discuss, they will call you even if they are mad at you
  • Sisters bring out the kid in each other and this is good
  • A real man will never let you travel alone after a date 
  • A man/woman who treats and respects your parents and his, is a man that will honour you  
  • A man who only takes pleasure when you dress sexy and revealing when going out with him and his friends – should make you pause and consider  – “if I accidentally end up in a wheelchair or in an immobile state will he still be there with me?”  Don’t let your appearance be the binding factor that keeps him tied to the relationship 
  • A person who feels respected and appreciated will reciprocate freely
  • Marriages that last a lifetime are usually two people who loved each other very much, and chose to repair the broken pieces than to replace it

“My Soul,

WAIT thou ONLY upon GOD;  for MY EXPECTATION is from him. He only is MY ROCK and MY SALVATION: He is MY DEFENSE; I shall not be moved. TRUST in HIM at ALL TIMES; ye people, POUR OUT YOUR HEART TO HIM; GOD is a REFUGE for us. Selah.” Psalms‬ ‭62:5-6, 8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

In conclusion: When life throws you a curb ball 🏀 know for certainty that there are options available:

  • WAIT only on God – no need to get scared
  • Your EXPECTATION is from God – not from a human 
  • God is your ROCK  – He hides you
  • He’s your SALVATION – The only way to Heaven 
  • God is your DEFENSE  – all you need to do is to stand still 
  • Trust God in ALL TIMES  – He’s proven to be loyal
  • POUR out your HEART to Him – that’s the way He knows what’s on your mind
  • GOD is YOUR REFUGE – hiding place, protection from the enemy and from unhappiness

You don’t have to die of a broken heart or spirit 👑 If God is all you have, then – He is all that you need. A relationship with God keeps open doors before you. You’re empowered by Him and He makes you look good 😊 

You are NEVER out of a relationship when you know God. He’s a friend that you can confide in. He’s always watching out for you. He walks with you so you never feel lonely. He talks with you and listens to your faintest cry 24/7. His love is the real deal because He knows every detail of your life, and still remains in love with you. He knows you by name. You are never without a friend. Always in a relationship ❤️

3 thoughts on “Evaluate Your Friendship Zone 

  1. There’s not a friend like the lowly JESUS, no, not one, no, not one.
    What a friend we have in JESUS!
    HE’s all I need, HE’s all I need – JESUS is all I need!
    Blessings and love to you, my dear sister ❤ Junie


    1. You’re awesome 🌺 My biggest cheerleader 👏🏾👏🏾 My biggest encourager 🤗🤗 All this and more ❤️️ I’m happy I get to call you my sister 😇


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