Let’s admit it – there are some days when you pretend that everything is just fine, but the truth is, you were really at your weakest moment. You were falling apart on the inside, yet no one noticed. How many times are we guilty of asking someone, ‘How are you?’ – but we don’t take a moment to stop for the response, or vice versa, people ask us, ‘How are you?’ , but yet they quickly pass by without waiting for our response. Living with these negative relationships practices – makes it easier for us to become an active participant of keeping a ‘secret life’ while still trying to be stronger than we feel.
Getting Real: Life takes a toll on everyone. We meet fake people who pretend to be nice, but will betray and destroy us at the drop of our name. Then, we have those who will use the friendship for their personal gain – ‘if you need me, I will make myself available’ …but, if “I need you” – you will have no issue letting me know how busy you are. Next, we have those who bring their personal daily dramas into your life, and once they had an opportunity to offload on you, they incredibly disappear until the next episode. The circles of people we are connected with can either work positively or negatively for us.
One thing is certain: Trying to be stronger than you feel will not work in your favour. Why? Because how you feel is usually based on your thoughts. Your thoughts will determine if you are a strong enough to withstand the environment you are in, or if you must choose to walk away leaving the negativity behind. Feelings are as real as you touching a hot stove. It’s impossible to ignore, and pretend that it didn’t hurt. Pretending to be stronger than you feel doesn’t bring you happiness, it will eventually weary you down. It’s very easy to detect that things are not working in your favour, and yes, you can gracefully remove yourself from further pain. If you are NOT happy in any relationship it’s important to stop and reflect – but, make a decision to go where you are appreciated for what you bring to the table of mutual Love and Respect.
Handling pain and thinking positively: Pain is part of life. Pain is common to all. Pain is not something bad. Pain brings about doubt and fear, but then you pass them on to ‘The Lion of Judah’. God promises to use everything we’ve been through for greater purposes. Pain has purpose in our lives. Your greatest gift you will ever leave here on earth came from a painful past that was changed for the gift of healing – your gift of healing was passed on to someone who desperately needed it. The Gift of HOPE brings a ray of sunshine.
There are positive purposes to personal pain:
- You show others that you can overcome what was meant to hurt you – it’s called “Storytelling”.
- Personal Pain creates empathy and compassion in you.
- Pain tells the world that God was with you, and He’s the only reason you didn’t fail the test.
- It’s okay to sit for a while and cry you a river, but it’s never okay to sit there forever.
- Pain means you can be shaken by the storms, but you’re resilient to stand on your roots again.
- You don’t get to control the outcome of everything that has happened to you, but you learn how to deal with the outcome.
- You will never please everyone and that’s really okay, just stay true to your core values.
- If no one compliments you, compliment yourself because you know how many hurdles you jumped over to get where you are today.
- Fear keeps us up all night, but trusting God keeps us safe.
“There was a man named Jabez, who was the most respected member of his family.
His mother had given him the name Jabez, because his birth had been very painful.
🙏🏾 BUT JABEZ PRAYED to the God of Israel, “Bless me, God, and give me much land. Be with me and KEEP ME FROM ANYTHING EVIL THAT MIGHT CAUSE ME PAIN” 🙏🏾
🎁 And God gave him what he prayed for 🎁🙌🏾
1 Chronicles 4:9-10 GNB
After giving it to God – STAND STILL. Don’t take it back – He’s working on you before He gives you what you’ve asked. It’s really about you and I more than the pain we feel. It’s called – Character Building.
He who begun a good work in me is able to complete it. I’m learning in whatever state I maybe in – to be content.