As adults we get pulled in so many ways each and every day. As the challenges come along – we are forced to deal with everything that life throws at us, whether we can handle it or not. Do you know what is hard about being strong? Keep on reading until you get almost to the end to see my answer.
Doing a check up on what’s happening on your inside. Ask yourself – Am I hurt 😭 or am I angry 😡? Look at these two emojis, and you can see that it’s a huge difference between being hurt 😭 and being angry 😡. As responsible adults, we live our lives as robots. We go from one emotion – happy 😊 to being anxious 😩 ; from partying 🎉 to pain 🤦🏽♀️; and certainly the list can go and on. We juggle so many balls 🏀 at any given time, and it’s very crucial that none falls to the ground. We become professionals on masking our very own emotions.
We learn that good parenting demands: – if our children get hurt or urgently need our attention – it’s important we take care of them IMMEDIATELY. We are expected to deal with their demands until they can bounce back into their happy normal lifestyles….If our parents fall sick – we take care of their needs until all is well again…Our spouse can’t find the keys or documents – then, that becomes the immediate attention grabbing event until it’s found. Now that everything is back on stream – how do you feel? Exhausted. Anxious. Irritable. Bitter. Lonely?
The question goes back to what was asked before – Do you know what is hard about being strong? 💡📎 The answer – Nobody ever stop to ask if you are hurt. As responsible adults we make life look easy and simple by showing up to every act or performance our tribe/clan/squad performs at. It’s very easy for our feelings to be overlooked and NOT be held in HIGH priority. After all – we look strong, capable, and we brilliantly continue to deal with everything in our lives until we eventually break down with a sickness I call ‘emotional overload’.
There’s a huge difference between being angry 😡 and being hurt 😭:
Anger comes out of hurt feelings. But, people who get angry oftentimes find it very hard to forgive. They have kept silent on those matters that created the hurt and feelings of pain. They quietly carry the hurt until the pot becomes too hot and the steam burns everyone.
Hurt people have difficulty understanding why they are being treated so badly by those they cared about. They carry the blame making excuses for the individuals behavior. They maybe hurt by others, but will push past the dysfunctions so the other party wouldn’t be hurt.
Sounds silly? But it’s exactly what you or I will do. It’s part of the nurturing aspect of our relationships.
So let’s think about some strategic steps we can take to avoid ‘Emotional Overload’
1. Stop trying to become an anchor ⚓️ to everyone
2. Making excuses like – I am a private person is a setup for a let down better known as PRIDE that always accompanies a FALL leading up to
3. You hate it when people see you cry, so you try to be strong. But, tears never go away until you let them all out. Tears purge away the residues of hurt feelings
4. Pretending to be happy only makes you angry when you lie alone in bed at nights. Anger is hurt left unattended that leads to unforgiveness. Stop the pretense. Let’s get real. Let’s get whole
5. You cannot run away from things in your head. Find time to deal with them at the end of the day. Have a lil talk with Jesus makes it alright. He keeps everything private
6. Avoid anyone who makes the same mistakes all the time. It leads to resentment.
7. It’s legit not to be okay. Just find that person who you are okay to share your concerns
Finally, you have to do what’s right for YOU!! Since….nobody is walking in your shoes, speaking in your ears, lying on your pillow, listening to your thoughts, seeing the memories, and drinking your tears – YOU have to do what’s right for YOU!!
Get to a place in your life where you regularly detoxify your hurt and anger. A safe secret place to detox is on your knees before a caring and loving God who can interpret your tears. He promises to dispatch angels that attend to your prayers.
Adults need loving care too. Hugs are important too. Someone to stay by your sides until the storm is past. Someone to hold your hands reassuring you that it’s going to be okay again.