Recently I’ve been pondering on what a letter to my younger self would have read like. Sometimes I wish I had written a letter to myself when I was younger – maybe between (10 – 19 years). I think, it would have been very interesting. As I reflect back to my life in those earlier years …. I know now – that I didn’t own the correct mindset to write anything worthwhile about me. But, it would have still been interesting to read nevertheless.
Back then, I had a very low self esteem of myself. I always felt inadequate, frightened, intimidated, scared, lonely, and certainly not pretty.
Look at how satan lied to me with those negative thoughts. In my baby picture below, I was approximately nine months old. Here I was created with all of God’s splendour and glory. God did a great job with me if I can say so myself.
But, then gradually with age – my mind became contaminated with ungodly thoughts and beliefs about myself. I secretly kept my baggages of insecurities very close and personal to me. It just wasn’t something I was confident to speak about. It was like hiding dirty laundry with the hope that it will never been seen by anyone. And, I did a great job at hiding my insecurities because no one saw my invisible toxic garbage.
The Toxic Thoughts created fear that paralyzed me from moving on or believing in myself. I was afraid to speak for fear of criticism. I was intimidated to step out and take a stand because I didn’t want to be rejected. I would praise others for their achievements without once considering myself. My insecurities blocked my vision of my potentials.
Over the years (55 years) my confidence grew with the consistent prodding of my current Pastor who saw both value and potential in me. I was convinced that I was only called to be a wife and a mother (both of which I am extremely proud of). She relentlessly encouraged, loved and inspired me to do something for myself. She believed in me more than I did for myself. I took up the challenge to attend Bible School because there were Counselling Courses that held my interest. I was terrified to begin fearing I would fail. Her sincerity in pushing me outside of my limited mindset inspired me to go for it. I excelled in my exams, and I completed my four years with great success. The same night I graduated, my husband graduated with his PhD. It was MY proudest victory.
I further coached myself out of the virtual cage I previously had created with my insecurities. I encouraged myself to walk out of my insecurities and as I did, the Lord stood with me and give me strength to fly. If I had written that letter to myself in my younger days, I would have never done myself any justice. I’m so proud of who I have become today with the amazing incredible help of both my God and my Pastor. My parents especially my Mom would have been so proud of me.
I’m thankful for everything I went through in life that has made me who I am today. I have certainly become a more courageous and confident person with time than I was back then. My strength was developed out of the difficult experiences I encountered in life forcing my insecurities to let go of me.
The first time I believed that every one including myself was born to shine and was gifted with Purpose and Destiny – I felt like a scared caged bird with an open gate stuck still in the corner of the cage afraid to fly out. But once I realized that there was no one coming back to shut the doors of the cage, I flew around in circles until my wings took flight – and there’s no going back into the cage for me. I am a free bird ready to surf the horizons and get to my destination.
So this year I have challenged myself to write a letter to myself to be opened on December 31, 2017. How did I address my letter? ‘Dear Self, I love you ❤️ – then, I signed my letter off … ‘Love, Me 🤗.
I listed – Five things I want to excel at in 2017 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️….and I’m excited about the days ahead …excitingly looking forward to super-exceeding my expectations.
Self talking – I’m working on myself, for myself and by myself. I believe in me. I can achieve my goals. I was created with Purpose. I’m a child of the King 👑. It’s all about the choices I choose to make.
I trust whoever is reading this, will decide to write a letter to your future self.