The difference between Toxic Friendships and Toxic Relationships 

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone whether on the phone, through text messages, face to face or in a group chat and unconsciously your mood swings from high to low and you feel wounded in spirit? 

It’s an awful feeling when you feel that someone is getting ‘under your skin’ and at the same time you’re trying hard to be polite. 

Becoming more aware of both unhealthy people and non-productive moments in your life is like spending time cleaning the windows of your soul. I have found that my energy level is depleted after dealing with unpleasant situations and toxic people. 

Toxic people are negative thinking people. They are the folks who come to you with a telltale version of what others say about you; they usually bring unwarranted drama (chaotic and emotionally draining stuff); they ask questions and want details about you or your family members, but never discloses theirs;  then there are those strange people who may call you on the phone but never have anything to say after you say the first hello (it’s like an open ended conversation) you’re left to carry the conversation; I think these examples shown above reflects some of the ways toxic people and drama king and queens subtly come into your life to destroy your peace.

*** Later on you will read of Toxic Intimate Relationships

Back to dealing with Toxic Friendships – At the end of your day when you’re about to lay your head upon your pillow – it’s imperative that your happiness and peace take priority and that you continue to think like Christ in your thoughts and with your attitude. 

It’s absolutely 100% okay for us to drop friendships that are toxic and unpleasant. If someone leaves you drained and angry every time – that’s a cue that it’s time to move on. 
I once taught that it was discourteous, unchristian and rude not to stay friends with everyone. But, I have come to realize that our friendship elevator cannot accommodate every one we have met in our lifetime. 

In order to enjoy a happy and healthy lifestyle, your friendship elevator must make frequent stops to allow some folks to get off and some to get on. Releasing ‘dead weight’ is crucial to your happiness and peace of mind. Some people bring emotional baggages that can weigh you down and leave you carrying your weight and theirs. There comes a time when you need to press pause and evaluate the worth of your friendships.

The bible says that God gives us freedom to choose. Friendship is an important part of life- so choose carefully so you don’t leave fragments of your life behind. Friendships must be handled with wisdom. It’s not a popularity contest to see who have the most friends. Friendships must be genuine and uplifting to all. It’s all about emotions, feelings and expectations. Friendships must have moving elevators – some go up to ALL levels and some come off on a different levels. That decision must only be made by you. You must decide who’s staying on and who’s getting off.  Friendships Secret Code: Let go of drama and negative thinking people. They only add unwanted stress in your life. 

🎬🎬 Now, I’m moving on to Toxic Relationships – I use Relationships here as committed bond between two persons extending to family members. 

A FEW ways to detect if you are in a Toxic Relationship:

  • Feeling angry and bitter most of the time
  • Being left speechless because of someone’s harsh and degrading words 
  • Display of hostility toward you
  • No respect for your personal space in moments of disagreement 
  • When your kindness is taken for weakness and you subsequently begin to feel like a victim 
  • When someone intimidates you by raising their voice or frequent angry hand gestures
  • You are scared of spending time alone with the person 
  • You cry a lot 
  • When they blame you and you are always wrong 
  • You reluctantly give in to end the fight 
  • Toxic people work hard to get under your skin by throwing unkind and rude remarks with the hope to make you break under pressure
  • They remind you of your most painful memories 
  • Toxic people are usually manipulators and controllers so they force their opinions and wouldn’t give up unless you agree
  • When you feel exhausted and there’s no more loving thoughts 

    What’s next when you are in a Toxic RELATIONSHIP ?

    • Christian Counselling is available. Google, or ask someone. GET HELP!!!
    • Don’t sit and suffer any longer because of pride or embarrassment 
    • Whenever the enemy is exposed, he runs into hiding and is afraid to get caught, so he’s subdued by fear…EXPOSE the enemy 
    • Prayers always work
    • The answer to your prayer is ALWAYS  in ‘The One’ who hears it – never in how eloquent you have prayed
    • Tears are a language that ONLY God can interpret 
    • Identify any presence of the enemy. E.g. Jealousy, Lust, Anger, Abuse, Manipulation, Adultery, Suicidial thoughts, or pornography activities etc
    • Check for generational curses that may have passed down to your generation. Check the list above to start
    • Remember that your ‘lifeguard’ Jesus walks on water, so don’t be afraid of the aftermath of the storm 
    • God cursed the fig tree in the morning and by evening the fig tree dried up. Time is IRRELEVANT with GOD
    • Faith in GOD changes EVERYTHING. EVERY miracle in the Bible was performed because of people’s faith 
    • God can restore ANYTHING that is broken. The woman at the Well was rejected by many men but she met Jesus and her life was changed forever 
    • If you are praying about it, God is working on it. According to YOUR faith, not Mommy or Daddy’s 
    • Live EVERYDAY believing for a miracle. God shut the lions mouth. They were too full to eat again 
    • Pause and whisper ‘Jesus help me’. The poor man CRIED and the Lord HEARD him and DELIVERED him from ALL his fears
    • God can restore, rebuild and replenish EVERYTHING. Jericho walls fell after seven shouts directed by God
    • No one can block God’s blessings on your life. Joseph was sold, thrown into pit, thrown into jail and ended up as the CEO of the kingdom 
    • Those who walk WITH God always reaches their destination. Abraham obeyed and trusted God’s leading on the way to sacrifice Issac. God only provided the ram when Abraham reached his destination 
    • God can protect you from ANYTHING that wasn’t sent by Him. The three Hebrew boys thrown in the fiery furnace. They weren’t burnt and didn’t even smell like the fire and there was a fourth man (God) present in the fire
    • God is greater than any giant you face. Only a boy name David – 5 little stones he took. David only used one stone to kill Goliath. It wasn’t about the boy but about God’s supernatural power 
    • God is NOT blind to your tears. Hannah prayed for a child. The priest taught she was drunk, but that same day she went home and conceived
    • Don’t try to do anything in your strength. Jesus disciples try to cast out demons out of a man. It didn’t work for them because they didn’t have the faith. Our power lies in God and our quest to walk with God
    • God is always in control. He told the ocean not to come this far and today we have land and sea
    • The enemy is really fighting you for what you can’t see. Sarah couldn’t see the child that was promised to her. She faced mockery but she lived to hold her promise close to her breast
    • Leave the past in the past. The crippled man at the gate. Jesus told him to get up and walk. It may have been awkward to walk around with his tattered bed for the rest of his life

      8 thoughts on “The difference between Toxic Friendships and Toxic Relationships 

      1. June we will forget those negative and toxic relationships which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,we will press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus – Philippians 3:13.

        Stay blessed my friend in Jesus Name amen🙏🏽



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