Sometimes God in His Divine Wisdom and Love for each of us protects us from our own stupidity and from bad relationships – more times than we are aware of…
- a hideous self inflicted crime that’s self destructive
- as risky as drinking and driving
- creates a hunger to always feel reassured of love
- produces jealousy
- kills self esteem
People who are insecure either tries extra hard to look happy or they have a very sad appearance. But overall – all they really want to do is to run away and hide.
Insecured women are an easy target for men – they become victims of a vulnerable society. On the other hand…. guys who are insecure become abusive and extremely controlling of their partners. It’s a ‘no winners’ situation.
So, here’s a good place to start this conversation – first, let’s establish the undeniable truth of who God says we are:
Relationships come in many different shapes and sizes … there are good relationships and bad relationships.
When love is real:
- It doesn’t LIE
- It doesn’t HURT
- It doesn’t make you feel UNWANTED
- It doesn’t CHEAT
- It doesn’t PRETEND
If you’re in a relationship and your partner’s hands are wrapped tightly around you and his or her lips are pressed passionately against your lips, but there’s a quiet whispering into your ears to keep the relationship a secret – Caution ⚠️ …that’s a blaring siren warning sound.
There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy. Don’t be fooled.
- If you are in a relationship and your partner is secretive about the relationship – go with your gut feeling – it’s time to run.
- If you are a secret lover, don’t be fooled – you’re not the only one.
Privacy on the other hand is:
- when both parties agree to the extent of personal information that will be provided to the public
- It’s protecting each other from becoming vulnerable to the eager information seekers out there who may use it against you one day
Healthy Relationships are built on TRUST.
- secretly check phones and emails
- attempts to control each other every move
- call friends to verify information
- certain actions bring fear and doubts
Reality Check Point:
If any of the above is one-tenth of your love life – then it’s time for you to consider moving on. You will have to pull all your courage together and say to yourself, “I’m more valuable than this. I’m moving on.”
If he didn’t put the wedding ring on in the presence of your family and friends – you are NOT his wife, so STOP performing wifely duties.
One of my pet relationships peeves is seeing beautiful young ladies idolizing their boyfriends, portraying them like married trophies, and without shame celebrating ‘anniversaries?’!!!
If your boyfriend is old enough to demand wifely duties, then he should be old enough to do the right thing …the wedding band goes on your finger, sign the agreement for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep yourself for her.
It’s definitely the old fashioned way, but it works like hot water pouring on a tea bag. The love gets stronger when there’s a commitment. It’s the same magic wand that Cinderella’s Prince Charming used to get her to say, yes!! He pursued her without stripping off her clothes. He put the shoe/ring on first.
It’s going to be absolutely fine to let him wait until he makes you his wife. If he leaves – then he would have inadvertently left you later on along the journey.
Even in a relationship you can still feel lonely. Sex can help comfort you but sex cannot fix serious issues. It takes more than good sex to have a healthy and worthy relationship.
My Mom used to say, “If you get the milk free, you don’t have to buy the cow.”
Something to ponder on…
- He would tell you
- He will never let you face something all alone
- He will make sacrifices for you
- He wouldn’t complicate your life
- He wouldn’t hurt you
- His ACTIONS will speak LOUDER than his WORDS
- Laughter will be the best medicine
- Your weight, height, hair, clothes will not make you feel insecure around him
- There will be NO conditions or demands
- They will stay even if there were reasons to leave