It’s normal for us as parents to feel frustrated and angry when our children are rude, defiant, and disrespectful.
Child case#1: A child lies to Mom to avoid punishment for stealing. After many hours of denial by the child – Mom discovers the lie and punishes the child by making them stand in a corner facing the walls for hours
Can it be possible that our parenting skills based on our cultures force our children to accept abuse as a normal part of life?
As loving and caring parents – is it possible that we can innocently and unknowingly endorse Abuse?
Can it be possible that a child grows up believing that punishment by people who love them is an acceptable form of abuse?
Child ——> lies+fear+punishment = physical abuse by the hands of loving parents.
How can Ellen differentiate between the way her loving Mom used physical punishment to correct a bad habit (vs) a loving spouse and when he’s upset with her?
Child case #2 : Dad has a fight with his daughter. He yells at her and then throws a book at her. Child runs away in fear and is scared to come out?
Will it be possible for the daughter to have a fear of disagreeing with her spouse? Will she be forced to accept this behavior as normal?
As a parent too myself who have failed miserably at some cultural punishment practices — I’m 100% CERTAIN that our punishment was NEVER intended to introduce abusive behavior in ANY way.
Accepting responsibility for our actions during our child rearing days is necessary to and for our children. I’m certain that it was never any parent’s intention that children become victims of abuse because of their cultural punishment methods used while parenting young rebellious kids.
Dating, and marriage can begin new chapters in our children lives where they may encounter — intimidation, fear, violence, control, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.
As parents — there’s always HOPE Alive in every difficulty once we have breath in our body and blood flowing in our veins.
Let’s talk about Corrective measures:
- Apologizing to our children acknowledging our own limitations in parenting skills is always a great place to begin
- Our children should be taught to have ZERO tolerance for any abusive behavior and they should get help to terminate any relationship with anyone who tries to control or belittle them or their families
- Parents need to always remain CALM so that children feel safe, loved and respected when they are involved in an abusive relationship
- Getting a Counselor to work with the child and the family to provide support and guidance is Wisdom
- Parents should speak to their children about what’s important in relationships, what to look for, and what are the warning signs of an abusive relationship
God is ALWAYS on time. ALWAYS available. And He answers ALL calls.
“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you restless and disturbed within me?
Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my [sad] countenance and my God.”
PSALM 43:5 AMP