Waiting is never fun…waiting for hours is awful…waiting for decades for a promise to be fulfilled requires trust and loyalty in the one making the promise.
One day God said to me, “Let go of the ‘security blanket’ that has provided psychological comfort to you over the years, I am taking you on a journey into the unknown and all I want you to do is to trust the process.”
“Hold on one minute God, did you forget to give me a timeline? How long is this journey? Will I have company on this journey? Hmm…God, are you serious about not taking my ‘security blanket’? God, we humans do not enjoy doing life without full disclosure…remember we both had this discussion many times before. (Were all my thoughts).
Anxiety gripped my heart and yes, I spent more waking hours than resting hours trying to figure out what my life would look like without my ‘security blanket’ which bought me great comfort and peaceful nights over the years.
I have no timeline to work with, but I was told to be strong and courageous and do not be afraid. The unknown made my heart sick. I want to help God plan this trip if I only knew how to do it without messing up.
But, because I understand how God works, I’m forced to sit still on this winding road with many bumps and resist the urge to skip town. It’s folly for me to even consider it an option.
I know fully well that restlessness gives rise to mistakes and regrets. So be it fast or slow, smooth or rough terrain ….all I really need to be concerned about is that I’m going to learn not to look at the ground for my next steps.
Some day everything will make perfect sense …so I will keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. I need this journey into the unknown to get me a place of total dependence on God and not trusting my weak, unhealthy thoughts.
I will not allow what I see, know or hear make me forget what God has promised me. God knows my name and He answers every time I call…so I’m good to go!