Tony A. Gaskin says, “Until a man walks a woman down the aisle, he is just auditioning. Do not give a boyfriend the benefits of a husband. Know the difference between dating and marriage so every Tom, Dick, and Harry cannot say they had all of you.” OMG!!!
To my younger reading audience, allow me to get real with you. You know how you can walk around with hurts and still fake a smile pretending to be happy – you can take that ‘I’m okay’ mask off and allow me to have a heart to heart talk with you. A man should not get husband’s privileges if he is not ready to make you his wife.
If he is telling you that he is not ready to settle down after being together for what looks like forever – the truth is, he does not want to marry you. There is no dignity in fighting to keep his attention if marriage is not the goal. No one works for years in a company and refuse the benefits plan or walk away from the retirement package. If you fail to plan – plan to fail.
Stop believing that sex proves that he loves you. No, my friend. Sex to him is like food. He will never be satisfied. Do not apologize for stepping up your game. Do not apologize for wanting to be a wife and not just another girlfriend. Do not get stuck in the room doing just about everything without a ring. Slap the contract down on the bed and make him sign.
Stop jumping from relationship after relationship to satisfy your crazy cravings. Sometimes your cravings make you grab whatever is convenient and within your reach, but you can end up needing medical care. Instead get a man who challenges you to order anything from the menu of a five-star restaurant without hesitation and watch him even leave a tip for the server. Up your game!
Real men want to help you accomplish your dream because he knows you are bringing added value to build a strong foundation. Tears, cheating and heartbreaks are not mistakes that can be easily repaired with a five hour phone call or annual promises. Get smart!
The war inside your head is exhausting. I will fight for you. I will respect you. I will include you. I will encourage you. I will stand by you. But I cannot drag you out of the mess. It’s got to be voluntary.
There is no lemon so sour that you cannot make something resembling lemonade. There is nothing so bad that you cannot fix, make better, or move on. Even though bad things happen you can always move on, learn from it, and improve yourself. God says, “I have heard your prayers and seen your tears, I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5
I am not telling you it is going to be easy, but I am telling you it will be worth it. You are much stronger than you think. Just make it happen. Spend time with people who will hold you accountable and force you to step up your game.