Someone said, if you ever feel like giving up, just remember there is a little girl or boy watching who wants to be just like you – you should not disappoint them. The nursery rhyme Mary had a little lamb comes back to me while I am writing. Everywhere Mary went the lamb was sure to go even when it was against the rules the lamb still lingered near. Why?
There is an unbreakable bond between a mother and her child. Everything we do as mothers there are little eyes that are looking. They will one day act out exactly whatever they have been witnessing. Kids are like a mirror, what they see that is what they will do. Through good times or bad times those little eager eyes and ears linger around mimicking our tones and behavior.
I have come to realize that regardless of what parenting style you adopt children enjoy and learn best by observing their parents. It is naïve to assume that children will not do what they see you doing. The phrase ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ is the most hypocritical order known in the world’s book of parenting. To tell a child who is looking up at you not to imitate your behavior but to obey your instructions is deceitful and desperately wicked.
The more a child knows the details of their parent’s life will either make that child an added value to society or a menace to society. Children learn by observing. They do not listen when we speak. There is a saying, ‘Give a child the right shoes and they will conquer the world.’ Your guess and my guess are true if this is reverse – ‘Give a child the wrong shoes and he or she will bring shame and disgrace to the mother.’
As parents it is important to model what we want to see in our children. A child that is unhappy never stop loving their mothers, they stop loving themselves. A child’s psychologist said, ‘Misbehavior is a child’s way of communicating there is an unmet need.’ Placing a child on timeout is giving you a break but it is not communicating anything to your child but fear of not wanting to be alone again.
All problems have solutions. We do not have to be perfect to be a good parent but we first respect ourselves so our kids can grow up to be healthy citizens.
Find your child’s love language:
- Positive affirmation. Be positive when communicating
- Touch. Hugs, holding hands, anything to do with touching
- Time together. Quality time doing things you both enjoy
- Acts of service. Cooking dinner together. Packing the dishwasher
- Gifts. Remembering birthdays are important. A little surprise on any given day adds happiness
Mommy’s goal is when her children are grown, they should still be looking forward to coming home. When they have a crisis, home is where they run to. Keep the love languages on your door post and write them on your heart.
To my girlfriends, we are braver than we believe. We are stronger than we feel. We are smarter than we think. Find the tribe that will elevate and inspire you when you need a jump start.