“Do What’s Best for Each Other”
If you want change, you have to work through uncomfortable situations. Avoiding the process will keep things the same.
It’s time for a grown up conversation – the one that makes most people become uncomfortable. No one can change who they are related to by blood. God in all His wisdom carefully selected every member of our family.
Someone said, “From faking tears so that parents don’t scold you to hiding tears so that parents don’t question you” and that became my ‘aha moment.’
Families are sometimes divided over how to handle difficult situations simply because we weren’t taught how to. So, everyone avoids what should be done and life just goes on from one generation to the other.
Lies, betrayal, abuse are difficult topics to talk about. Everyone in the family knows the truth but no one wants to say or do anything. Why? Because certain topics are uncomfortable to talk about, and no one wants to disturb the nest.
One thing we may all agree on – family is important. But it should not come at the expense of anyone. What’s not dealt with in one generation will be transferred to the next generation.
2 Samuel 12:10- Nathan told Saul, “Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.”We often hear folks say, “God don’t like ugly” and this is just one biblical example of it.
Let’s look at another example of how God handled the uncomfortable conversation with the first family in the Garden of Eden. After Adam and Eve sinned, they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
Genesis 3:9-10 says, “And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” ·
God knew where they were hiding but the question was meant to give Adam chance to own up to his wrong doing.
Difficult conversations make people hide behind things to avoid having the conversation.
The truth is, God wants us to have those difficult conversations. The ones you want to sweep under the rug. In some families it may be less drama not to hold people accountable but be forewarned, God will. He doesn’t sweep anything under the rug.
When we openly confess our wrongs, God openly forgives.
It’s time for the healing of our families to begin. Someone must be the adult to identify the problem and start the process. There’s nothing hidden from God. We can’t hide behind anything to avoid hearing God’s voice. God wants us to have the conversations.
He showed us by example how to do it. It’s tragic to watch another generation fighting the demons of the previous generation because no one spoke up about it.
You may ask – “What if the person doesn’t want to speak about it?” Then go ahead and write the letters that you will never send. Get everything off your chest that you never were able to, and let God do the rest.
The next generation must not be left to deal with the difficult conversations the previous generation refused to have.
Joseph too had a difficult conversation with his brothers. Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!
When those uncomfortable conversations start – God intervenes and what was meant for bad God miraculously turns it around for good.
Allow God to be the Head of your home, the Silent listener to your every conversation. Together we can recover all and take back our right standing with each other. Every detail (good, bad, and ugly) of your family’s history is being carefully crafted into a beautiful and powerful story when we make wrongs right.
Don’t lose heart if you are standing alone in the quest for those honest conversations. Who God sets free is free indeed.
Prayer Time: Father, you know the secrets hidden within the walls of our homes. Today we invite you to walk through the rooms and heal the shattered lives scarred by human hands.
Teach us how to have these difficult conversations with You and with others. Thank you for bringing healing in our homes this year. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Love grows when the littlest home is filled with love.