NOVEMBER 4 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: Don’t Ignore the Red Flags

If you don’t use your brain you will live with regrets year after year. If you think hard about your past, it may bring tears to your eyes. If you think about tomorrow, it may bring fear.

If you decide to make some changes today you stand a great chance of a better life.

Pay attention to the red flags that is creating your unhappiness. Everyday we make choices. We choose what to eat, wear, and what time we go to bed.

Every day we make choices and every day can be a new beginning to creating the life we love. Some of the choices we make are more learned behaviour. Take a few steps back and stop saying ‘oh well!”

To choose means to pick out (someone or something) as being the best or most appropriate of two or more alternatives.

She chose the seat facing the window, it was her choice. He chose her, it was his choice.
When you choose make sure it’s the best and most appropriate of the two choices before you.

You must love yourself to see the red flags in your life and decide that this is not how you want your story to end.

Deuteronomy 30:15 says, “Today I am giving you a choice. You can choose life and success or death and disaster.”

God gives us the freedom of choice. Choose life! A peaceful mind is a gift you get when you choose life.

The red flags aren’t going away by wishful thinking. You have to give up something to get something you never had before. It’s time to declutter your life by getting rid of stuff that are no longer working for the good of your mental health.

To choose doing life with God comes with added benefits. God sets before us the blessing and the curse.

We can’t choose to do life without including God in it and expect God to bless us. Praying and asking others to pray for you without you taking personal responsibility for your choices will not work.

Your choices reflect your decisions. If it’s not working then make better choices. When your ways pleases God, He will make even your enemies to be at peace with you.

Sure, it’s your life and your choices. But you don’t escape the consequences. Why choose the longer way when God shows you the easier way to having a successful and happy life.

Prayer Time: Father, thank you for giving us life. Today we cross over from doing it our way to following you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Our life is a reflection of our choices. Prayer alone does not cut it. Don’t be a part time Christian who demands a full-time God.

NOVEMBER 3 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: Not For The Faint Hearted

When life is good, make sure you enjoy the season. When life is not good, remember it’s also a season that will not last forever.

In every season there are lessons to learn. We cannot wait until everything is perfect before we enjoy our life. No matter how good or bad a situation is, it will change.

If you avoid the bad times, you will run out of places to go.

Don’t place your faith in material things like money or earthly possessions. Your trust should be in God alone. Anything else will disappoint you.

These comforting Bible verses can ease your worry, clear your mind, and reassure you that it’s only a bad season and not a bad life.

Psalms 37:3 “Trust in the Lord and do good things. Then you will live safely in the land and you will not have trouble.”

Isaiah 12:2 says, “Listen! God is the one who saves me! I will continue to trust him. I will not be afraid because the Lord makes me strong. He keeps me safe. He rescues us from our enemies.”

Psalms 25: 2-3 “I trust in you, my God. Please do not let me be ashamed. Do not let my enemies laugh at me, because they are stronger than me. Surely nobody who trusts in you will become ashamed. No! It is those who like to deceive others who will become ashamed.”

Whatever you are going through, Jesus is only a prayer away. Wait on the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage. Anyone who hope in the Lord will not be ashamed.

Hope is bold, hope is daring, hope is brave, and hope is courageous.

Your entire life’s story is all written into the little dash between the day you were born and the day you die. Make it intriguing. Life is too short to make it boring.

Do not be faint hearted.

Prayer Time: Father, thank you for daily providing the strength we need to do life. No matter how intimidating things sometimes appear to be, our heart is fixed in you.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

We can rest assured that God is never changing His thoughts towards you. You remain His primary concern.

NOVEMBER 2 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: It’s Going to Be Okay

Quote: “I threw in the towel, God threw it back and said, “wipe your face you are almost there.”

When you are faced with trying times be strong and of a good courage. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. When life gives you more than you can stand, kneel in prayer.

Anything outside of that will bring on the anxiety and fear. We are needy human beings regardless if you are financially well off or poor as a church mouse.

You can have a successful business and still not feel satisfied because you had higher expectations.
You can be in a marriage and still feel lonely. You can have children and feel like you have been barren all your life.

You can be sitting before a banquet table and lose your appetite because your heart is heavy. Life comes with many valid reasons for you to want to throw in the towel and count your losses.

Bad things do happen to good people. Like Job it’s only a test to prove your unwavering faith in God. In the midst of uncertainty don’t lose hope in God. God is always in complete control whether you believe it or not.

Mathew 6:27 says, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”

Anxiety is the intersection in life where you come face to face with God. If you never had a problem how would you know that God could solve it.

John 14:13 says, “Ask me to help you. If you ask anything in my name, I will do it for you.”

Your goal in life is to allow Jesus to be the head of your home. When Jesus guards your home, everything within the walls of your home is safe. Cursed is anyone who trusts in themselves and whose heart is turned away from God. ‭‭

God’s thoughts towards you are always bigger than your imaginations. Worrying doesn’t add or take away your troubles. But it takes away your peace.

Why worry when you can pray? Stop worshipping the problem and start worshiping the true and living God.

Trust in the Lord and do not be afraid. You are almost to the end of this season.‬‬

Prayer Time: Father, teach us to be mindful of the schemes of the enemy.
Calm our minds and quiet our hearts. When things do not go as planned we are confident that you have it all in the palm of your hand. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Stop over analyzing things because you are nervous about what could happen. Hold on to God and don’t let go.

NOVEMBER 1 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: Put IT Down!

Don’t ever set yourself on fire just to keep other people warm is great advice. Let’s be realistic, you cannot be everything to everyone. It is not your job to save someone each and every time they cry out.

Mommies, remember when your toddler woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to be held or rocked back to sleep? You didn’t rush in to pick them up but waited it out until they eventually fell back to sleep. All babies wake in the night, experts say, but the ones who learn to fall asleep on their own won’t need parents’ help to get back to sleep later on.

There are many ways to show you care for others than being a sacrificial offering. Adults are just as capable to keep themselves warm by taking the necessary actions to find solutions.

People who constantly lean on you for things that result in you adding to your plate are the people you need to draw boundaries with.

In Exodus 18 we see where Moses had a similar problem. He was exhausted from taking care of all the needs of the people of Israel. Every problem was brought before Moses for him to judge and give his verdict.

Jethro his father-in-law was shocked. He couldn’t believe that Moses was doing so much in so little time. He said to Moses, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you and you cannot handle it alone.”

My friends, we all have the same 24-hours in a day, and it comes down to how you choose to use them. It’s all about your choices. Burning yourself out to keep everyone happy is not good. When you know better, you do better.

No is actually a complete sentence without getting into the reasons why. You don’t have to answer every call or email or text messages if they are not on your priority list.

Many times we carry heavy loads without realizing the full weight of it. If you are always giving 110% it will eventually take a toll on your mental health. You cannot be everything to everyone. Begin setting boundaries.

Fatigue cannot be masked. You do not have to feel badly by refusing to add more to your already full itinerary. Your health is more important than trying to keep everyone happy.

Prayer Time: Father, thank you for teaching us the power of self care. May we never feel guilty for setting boundaries when we know that our plate is full. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Moses father-in-law’s words are proof that what you are doing is not good for you and those who expect you to keep them warm and fuzzy. You will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you and you cannot handle it alone.

OCTOBER 28 with DR. KRISSY DOYLE-THOMAS Medical Neuroscientist and Professor 🧠

Let’s talk about resilience!

💪🏽Resilience is our ability to cope when things go wrong.

😩It’s so easy at time to buckle and succumb to stress and give in to the heavy load of life.

🧠In fact that uncontrolled fear response is the action of our amygdala, our fear processing brain area.

🧠Our amygdala talks to our prefrontal cortex (PFC), that part of our brain that is extremely important for decision making, concentration, breaking down the problem, focusing on the positives, flexible thinking etc.

🧠Our PFC can exert control over our amygdala to tell it that “it’ll be okay”. But sometimes our PFC is not able to suppress that fear response. Our amygdala can then cause our PFC to turn off and cause our brain to go into survival mode.

❓So the question becomes, how do we calm down our pesky, anxious amygdala and turn on our PFC again. Here are some suggestions

🫂(1) Connect with a support system. Friends, family, those who love and support you. That would activate your love brain chemical oxytocin and will promote a healthy response.

🤔(2)Stay flexible and open minded to new ideas, opportunities, and solutions. This would engage your PFC in considering options, flexible thinking and making decisions.

🛑(3) Know your limits and when to ask for help. Spend some time alone to reflect on the big pictures and know that THIS is just a moment in time.

🧘🏽‍♀️Engage in some self care, mediation and prayer, exercise, and eating healthy. This would help to calm your fear response and the allow yourself space to “think”.

I hope this helps. Take care!

selflove #selfcare #wellness #wellnessjourney #resilience #health #neuroscience #psychology #everydayneuroscience #think #youvegotthis

OCTOBER 27 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: The Importance of Knowing God’s Voice

Children feel safe and protected knowing their parents are within reach. No matter how old or young you may be sometimes you just need a parent.

No one is an orphan. Your Heavenly Father stands ready and waiting at all times to communicate to you on all matters of the heart. No two children are the same yet He is familiar with all our ways. Our faces are not the same yet He knows every detail of our needs.

To recognize our Father’s voice does not call for emotional maturity but spiritual maturity. Two different things.

God keeps working on your spiritual maturity until you can hear what He has to say about those things that trouble your heart. Our relationship with God is at its best when we know His voice, trust His leading and walk in obedience even when you can’t see the end.

When God speaks you must come away from the crowd to hear what He is saying. He speaks softly and tenderly. Spiritual maturity is being comfortable to spend time alone with God.

How to know God’s voice vs Satan’s voice.

God the Father speaks in love while Satan brings on blame and guilt.

God will encourage you to keep on believing in yourself while Satan will discourage you making you feel alone in the world.

God’s voice will lead you into the path of truth, Satan makes you act spontaneously.

God’s voice will comfort, Satan’s voice brings chaos and tears.

You may say that you can’t figure it out. God says that He will order your steps.

You think it’s impossible. God says that all things are possible.

You say that you can’t go on. God says that His grace is sufficient.

You can believe everything that your Heavenly Father says to you. You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

The truth is, we are slaves to overthinking. A slave does not believe that tomorrow will be a brighter day. But a child of God lives every day in hope of a better tomorrow.

No matter how old you may be …sometimes you just need a parent. God is the Father to the fatherless.

Prayer Time: Father, make us spiritually mature to hear your voice. Even when we don’t see you, we want to hear your voice say, “This is The Way walk in it.” In Jesus Name, Amen.

Place all your concerns, worries, fears, hopes, dreams, families and your relationships in God’s hands and walk in spiritual maturity.

OCTOBER 26 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: Be a Bee 🐝

I read something great this week and it resonated with me – ‘Butterflies cover a lot of ground, but only bees gather honey.’

Out of interest I gave it some thought to see what I can learn about this statement. Butterflies are light, pretty, and gentle, while bees are hardworking and busy.

When someone says that they have butterflies in their stomach you get the impression that they are anxious and nervous about something. Their restlessness makes them what to take flight and run away from the stress.

They may relocate for a chance to survive the threatening outcome. They may say things like ‘if this continues, I will go mad’ or ‘I will have a heart attack’. So, like the butterfly they move around. Butterflies cover a lot of ground.

The saying ‘As busy as a bee’ means someone is moving about quickly doing many things. Bees are hardworking and if faced with threat they do a surprise attack on the unwanted visitor as they literally get together, hide, and then attack.

I decided that it’s better to be a Bee than a Butterfly.

When we come together, work together, we accomplish more. Quote: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” One move can change your life for better or worse. For richer or for poorer.

God is in the details so don’t be a butterfly becoming restless and wanting to take flight. We can choose to be either a butterfly getting anxious and nervous or a bee that is busy getting things done. We can’t be both.

Don’t leave your assignment prematurely. At the end of your life, you want to be known for your obedience to God.

God is not in a hurry. We are in a hurry and that is what keep us unhappy, disappointed, and stressed.

Isaiah 40:29-31 says, “The Lord gives strength to those who are weary. Even young people get tired, then stumble and fall. But those who trust the Lord will find new strength. They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings; they will walk and run without getting tired.”

One move can change your life for better or worse. For richer or for poorer. God is in the details so don’t act out of haste. Waiting on God calls for a disciplined life or you can live a life of regrets.

Nehemiah 6:3 says, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.” Nehemiah was in charge of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. His enemies tried four times to stop his work.

Nehemiah was not going to be distracted. He was not leaving the work. If he had stopped, he would have been killed. Don’t be distracted, don’t come down from what you are building. You are doing a great work and will not take flight.

Prayer Time: Father, we are not coming down nor taking flight. We don’t know how and we don’t know when but we know you will do whatever you have spoken. In Jesus Name, Amen.

God has not lost track of you. God doesn’t come and go. He stays with you in the waiting room.

OCTOBER 25 HEART TO HEART GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS

Today’s Topic: Relationships

To be happy and contented you must maintain healthy relationships with your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, spouse, baby’s daddy, baby’s mommy, and children.

Relationships are not easy but if there are shared DNAs try everything possible to make things cordial.

Relationships are harder now because Social Media has become a platform to vent and air out dirty laundry. Conversations are done through texting, and counselling is accepting advice from people who don’t have to live with the consequences.

If you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you is such a powerful quote. Hurting people are sitting on a time bomb waiting to explode at a drop of a pin.

Relationships are not easy, but it’s ridiculous to
spend a lifetime being bitter and rehearsing the history until you take your last breath on earth.

I have had my fair share of deep hurt doing
cartwheels, throwing tantrums, and having emotional roller coasters till all my strength was gone. Getting out of self-pity was huge until I decided to take back control of my life. I decided no more poor me and I can’t believe this happened to me stories.

Nope. Bad stuff happens to everyone like a bad flu.

Anyone can catch it once you’re exposed to the outside world. During those experiences I learned the true meaning of unconditional love.

We learn how to live. We live what we learn. If we live with resentment, we will become fighters. If we live with love, the love will cover a multitude of wrong doings.

If we do not mend broken relationships with family members there will always be a white elephant sitting in the room staring at you all hours of the day and night making you vulnerable to the haunting images.

Let’s stop ignoring the white elephant in the room so we could heal. Cycles must be broken. Anger, divorce, sibling rivalry, parent-child conflicts, baby’s daddy, and mommy, did not start with you it started generations before you.

And if you keep refusing to do what’s right the toxic and negative cycles will be passed down to your gorgeous Princess and handsome Prince. Look for lessons learned. What could have been prevented and how to reset your choices in life.

The good news is, Jesus heals the broken hearted. Every person needs forgiveness. Allow God to examine each piece of the puzzled relationship and whatever hurts allow Him to heal.

1Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Nothing works until God steps in and miracles happen.

Prayer Time: Father, thank you that you are the Wonderful Counsellor and the Prince of Peace. Teach us to forgive so it doesn’t destroy our hearts. In Jesus Name, Amen.

REMINDER: Don’t allow today’s social media culture to drag you down to a level of immaturity.